1. The following is a mutually acceptable agreement between                                                                                                                                     

                                                                                    and                                                                                    

                                           regarding how we will share parenting responsibilities for our children [list names]:

 

How Long This Agreement Will Last

This agreement is intended as a:

        permanent  agreement.

        temporary agreement that will remain in force until we negotiate and sign a permanent agreement.

We plan to negotiate a permanent agreement by                                                                                 [date].


#       Where Our Children Will Live.

            Our children will alternate living in each parent’s home as follows:

        They will live primarily with                         , and will live with                                                                  on:

        Alternating weekends from                                                                   to                    [give days and times if possible]

        During the week on                                [day(s) of the week] from                                                      to        

          Overnight

        They will live primarily with                         during the school year, and will live with

                     during the summer months.

 

During the time they are living primarily with one parent, they will live with the other parent on:

        Alternating weekends from                                                               to                 [give days and times if possible]

        During the week on                              [day(s) of the week] from                           to        

        Overnight

            The children will live in each parent’s home for approximately the same amount of time, and will change homes:

        Every       days

        Every       weeks

        Every       months

        Other        

 

             Our children will not live primarily with either parent, but with ___________  instead.

Our children will spend time with                                                                                       [parent’s name] as follows:

        Alternating weekends from                                                                   to                    [give days and times if possible]

        During the week on                                [day(s) of the week] from                                         to        

        Overnight

And with                                    [parent’s name] as follows:

        Alternating weekends from                                                                   to                    [give days and times if possible]

        During the week on                                [day(s) of the week] from                                                      to        

        Overnight

 

 

 

 

 

 

             Our children will live in one home, and each parent will take turns living there:

        Every       days

        Every       weeks

        Every       months

        Other        

             Our children will live at                                                                                          school and spend time with each of us as follows [specify; include days and times of exchanges]:

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 


 

#      Medical, Dental, and Vision Care.

              Our children’s medical, dental, and vision care providers will be [choose one]:

           We will use only the following health care providers:

                                                                                                [medical]

                                                                                                [dental]

                                                                                                [vision]

           We will each choose health care providers. We will exchange names, addresses, phone numbers, and releases so that our providers can share records and information.

                                       [parent] will see to it that our children receive their routine care.

              Our children’s special health care needs will be met as follows [specify]:

 

 

              In a medical emergency [choose one]:

           Either parent may seek medical treatment and must inform the other parent as soon as possible thereafter.

           Either parent may seek medical treatment, except for the following procedures or interventions:

 

                                                       [parent] is the only person who may seek medical treatment.

               If our children develop an ongoing medical condition or have other special health care concerns, we will assure consistency in their care as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will share all medical records.

           We will include the medications with our children as they travel between our homes.

           We will each fill all prescriptions and dispense the medications when caring for our children.

           We will exchange written instructions on needed care.

           We will each keep whatever physical supports or enhancements our children need in our home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

              Our children will receive the following dental care [specify]:

 

 

              Our children will receive the following vision care [specify]:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 


 

#      Negative Comments or Remarks.

              We will refrain from making negative comments or remarks about the other parent, that parent’s partner, and that parent’s chosen life directly to our children or within our children’s hearing.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 


#      Consistency in Raising Children.

              The standards for discipline in each of our homes will be as follows [choose all that apply].

           We will abide by the same discipline standards.

           The following behavior rules will apply in both homes:

 

           If either of us has a discipline issue with our children, that parent will explain the issue and response to the other so we can be consistent in our discipline.

           If our children complain about discipline in the other parent’s home, we will encourage them to talk about it with the other parent.

           If we cannot agree on discipline standards that will apply in both homes, we will make an effort to understand and respect the other’s right to establish behavior rules for our children.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 


#      Holidays.

              This agreement covers the following holidays:

              Holiday visits will begin at                             [time] and will end at                                                                             [time].

 

 

              We will adopt an odd year/even year plan, as follows:

           In odd years, our children will be with                                                                      [parent] for these holidays:

 

and with                                                                                   [parent] for these holidays:

 

In even years, the reverse will be true.

              The children will spend one-half of each holiday with each parent as follows:

 

 

              We will both independently celebrate the following holidays with our children:

 

Each parent will celebrate as follows:

 

              We will divide holiday vacation periods as follows:

 

 

              Our children will always spend the following holidays with                                                                                             [parent]:

 

and will always spend the following holidays with                                                                                                  [other parent]:

 

              We will plan for holidays as they come up. We will decide where the children will spend their holidays at least                                                            [specify time, such as two weeks or one month] in advance.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 


#      Education.

              Our children will attend [choose one]:

           public school

           private school

           home school

              We will pay for any private or home school as follows [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

              Any decision to change schools will be made as follows [choose all that apply]:

           If we agree in writing.

           After consulting our children.

           After consulting with         [parent].

           Only                                                                      [parent] may change our children’s school enrollment.

              Any decisions to support our children’s special educational needs or talents will be made as follows [choose all that apply]:

           If we agree in writing.

           After consulting our children.

           After consulting with         [parent].

           Only                                                                      [parent] may decide how to support our children’s special educational needs.

              We will participate in parent associations as follows [choose one]:

           Either parent may participate.

           Only one parent may participate at a time.

                                                                                               [parent] will participate.

              We will participate in the classroom as follows [choose one]:

           Either parent may participate.

           Only one parent may participate at a time.

                                                                                               [parent] will participate.

              We will participate in parent-chaperoned events as follows [choose one]:

           Either parent may participate.

           Only one parent may participate at a time.

                                                                                               [parent] will participate.

              We will attend parent-teacher or other school conferences as follows [choose one]:

           Both will attend.

           Each will schedule a meeting with the teacher or other school official.

                                                                         [parent] will attend and will inform the other of the matters discussed.

                                                                         [parent] will attend and will not inform the other of the matters discussed.

              Any emergency contact information needed by a school will be completed as follows [choose one]:

           We both will be listed in the following order:

 

           Only         [parent] will be listed.

           Others to be listed will be [list names]:

 

 

              Good school performance means:

 

 

 

 

 

 

We will encourage good school performance as follows [choose all that apply]:

          After discussion and agreement.

          After consultation with our children.

          With the following rewards:

 

              Poor school performance means:

We will discourage poor school performance by [specify]:

 

 

              Our children [check one]      may      may not attend sex education classes at school.

                                                 [parent] will notify the school of this decision.

              Our children’s education after high school will be paid for as follows [specify]:

 

              An account to pay for education expenses will be established, contributed to, managed, and used as follows [specify]:

 

              Any decisions regarding our children’s options for education after high school will be made as follows [choose all that apply]:

          By agreement between parents and children.

          Based on the children’s interest and ability to be accepted at a particular school.

          Based on what we can afford.

          Other [specify]:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Insurance.

              Our children’s medical insurance will be provided as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage if it is affordable through his/ her/their  employer(s).

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage under the Affordable Care Act.

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage.

          We will share the costs of any uncovered expenses as follows [specify]:

 

            Insurance claims will be submitted by:         [parent]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

              Our children’s dental insurance will be provided as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                 [parent] will obtain coverage if it is affordable through his/ her/their  employer(s).

                                                 [parent] will obtain coverage under the Affordable Care Act.

                                                 [parent] will obtain coverage.

          We will share the costs of any uncovered expenses as follows [specify]:

 

            Insurance claims will be submitted by:         [parent]

              Our children’s vision insurance will be provided as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage if it is affordable through his/ her/their  employer(s).

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage under the Affordable Care Act.

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage.

          We will share the costs of any uncovered expenses as follows [specify]:

 

            Insurance claims will be submitted by:         [parent]

              We will obtain life insurance coverage as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage with the following conditions if it is affordable through his/her/their employer(s).

            Type of coverage:          

            Named  beneficiaries:          

            [specify additional conditions]:          

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage with the following conditions.

            Type of coverage:          

            Named  beneficiaries:          

            [specify additional conditions]:          

              We will obtain                                                            insurance as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage with the following conditions if it is affordable through his/her/their employer(s).

            Type of coverage:          

            Named  beneficiaries:          

            [specify additional conditions]:

                                                            [parent] will obtain coverage with the following conditions.

            Type of coverage:          

            Named  beneficiaries:          

            [specify additional conditions]:          

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                 [parent] will obtain coverage as follows, and matters relating to this insurance will be handled as follows:                      

 

 

 

#      Making Decisions.

              Choose all that apply:

          Whenever possible, we will discuss the issues and attempt to reach an agreement.

          We both will make an effort to remain aware of our children’s interests, activities, school performance, and overall health.

                                                                                    [parent] will make an effort to keep

                                                                                     [other parent] aware of our children’s interests, activities, school performance, and overall health.

                                                                                               [parent], as the primary caretaker, will be responsible to make [most/all] of the decisions on behalf of our children and will inform

                                                                 [other parent] as soon as possible thereafter.

                                                                                               [parent], as the primary caretaker, will be responsible to make all of the decisions on behalf of our children and need not inform

                                                                 [other parent] of these decisions.

                                                                                    [other adult/guardian] will be given authority to make decisions on behalf of our children.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Resolving Disputes When Making Decisions Together.

              If disagreements arise regarding this Parenting Agreement, we agree to negotiate a temporary agreement while we resolve more difficult issues. This temporary agreement will last:

                                                                                    [amount of time]

          until we reach a final agreement

           other:         [specify]

              If disagreements arise regarding this Parenting Agreement or our parenting arrangements, we agree as follows [choose all that apply]:

                                                                                    [parent] has authority to make final decisions when we can’t agree.

          Before this parent makes a final decision that resolves a disagreement, he/she will consult with                                                                                [other adult] for advice.

                                                                                   [parent] has authority to make final decisions regarding                                                                  [specify] and

                                                          [other parent] has authority to make final decisions regarding                                                                                                                  [specify].

              We will participate in the following, at either parent’s request [choose all that apply]:

           counseling/therapy

           mediation

           arbitration

           meeting with attorney(s)

           other:         [specify]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      Labeling the Custody Arrangement.

              The custody of our children will be as follows [choose one]: (Note: Read Chapter 16 before completing this option. Your state may require you to differentiate between legal and physical custody.)

           sole custody

           legal

           physical

           joint custody

           legal

           physical

           joint custody, to mean that we will make decisions and share time with our children as follows [specify]:                                                                                                 

           split custody

                                                                                                [parent] will have custody of

                                                                                               [children’s names].

                                                                                           [other parent] will have custody of

                                                                                               [children’s names].

                                                                                          [other adult] will have custody of our children.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

#      Exchanging Information.

              We will not ask our children to carry messages between us.

              We will share information about the children [choose all that apply]:

           at least every         [specify interval of time]

           with each exchange of our children

           the day or evening before an exchange

           as needed

                                                               [parent] will assume the responsibility to establish contact with the appropriate sources of information regarding our children’s [choose all that apply]:

           health care

           school

           sports

           other:         [specify]

              We will communicate with each other [choose all that apply]:

           in person

           by telephone

           by letter

           by email

           other:         [specify]

 

 

 

#      Child Care.

              In securing child care, we will proceed as follows [choose all that apply]:

           Any child care provider will [choose all that apply]:

           be a licensed child care provider

           be over the age of                 

           be a relative or close friend

           not care for more than                children at any time when our children are there

           come into the home

           other:         [specify]

              Each parent has the discretion to select child care providers, but may not use [list names or traits unacceptable]:                                                                                                        

              Each parent will call the other first to care for the children in that parent’s absence.

              We will try to share child care responsibilities with neighbors and friends.

              Our children can care for themselves, but                                                                                            [other adult] will check in with them.

              Our children can care for themselves as long as they follow these rules:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

#      Special Occasions and Family Events.

              Special occasions and family events are defined as follows:

 

 

              We will attend special occasions and family events together whenever possible.

              We will attend special occasions and family events as our children wish.

              We will attend special occasions and family events as we decide.

                                                                                                      [parent] will attend the following special occasions and family events:                                                                                                                                                                                               

 

                                                                                                      [parent] will attend the following special occasions and family events:                                                                                                                                                                                               

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      Vacations.

              We will inform each other at least                                  [period of time] in advance of any planned vacation.

              We will provide each other with an itinerary of any trip, and contact information no later than one week before the trip.

              Our children may accompany one of us on a vacation under the following conditions:

           Any time missed from a regularly scheduled visit with the other parent will be made up as follows:                                                                                                 

           Travel will be restricted to:

           local area

           in state

           in the United States

           the following countries:          

           Activities will be limited to          

           Activities will not include          

           Our children will not be away for longer than          

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Outside Activities.

              Our children may participate in [list activities]:

 

 

              Our children may not participate in [list activities]:

 

 

              We will make decisions about which activities our children may participate in as follows:

           By consensus agreement.

                                                                                         [parent’s name] may make decisions about [fill in the blank]                                                                                                                                               activities.

                                                                                         [parent’s name] may make decisions about [fill in the blank]                                                                                                                                               activities.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Transportation Between Parents’ Homes.

              Transporting our children between our homes will be as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will meet for exchanges at         [specify time and location].

           We will alternate transporting our children back and forth.

                                                                [parent] will transport our children and

                                                     [other parent] will share in costs as follows:

                                                                [parent] will travel to our children for visits.

                                                                [parent] will bring our children for visits to the other parent.

           Our children may travel on their own by train, bus, or airplane when they reach age         .

 

 

 

           If our regular transportation plans need to change, we will act as follows [specify how you will handle issues like last-minute changes and temporary changes]:

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Improving Transition Times.

              We will make the transitions between our homes easier for our children as follows [choose all that apply]:

           Our children will start visits with                                                                                                                                          [parent] at                                                                 [specify time or event, such as after school or after work]. The visits will end at                                                                                                                [specify time or event].

           We will keep exchanges simple and quick by          

                                                                                                      [specify].

           When our children are changing homes, we will minimize the contact between us.

           We will exchange information regarding our children the night before they change homes.

           When our children are changing homes, the parent starting the visit will take time to give each child some undivided attention.

           The parent starting a visit will let our children have some quiet time before any scheduled activities or trips.

                                                                [parent] will try to establish and maintain a simple ritual to start and end his/her visits with our children.

           We will try to be patient regarding any questions that the children wish to ask about the custody and visitation arrangements.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Maintaining Contact When the Children Are With the Other Parent.

              Our children and                                                                                                                                                  [parent] will make an effort to talk at least every                                                                                     [specify frequency] as follows:

                                                                [parent or children] will initiate each call.

           Calls will be made between              and                 .

           If either                                                                         [parent] or children will be unavailable at the usual time, the parent who is unavailable or the parent who is with the children, who are unavailable, will arrange a new time by:

           calling the other parent

           sending the other parent an email message

           other:         [specify]

              Our children and                                                                                       [parent] will not call back and forth more than every                                                                                                [specify] unless something unusual happens or it is a special occasion.

              Our children will be given their own telephone line.

                                                                         [parent] will be responsible to teach telephone rules.

                                                                         [parent or children] will be responsible for telephone bills.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                              [parent] and the children can also communicate by:

           letter

           audio- or videotapes

           email or electronic conferencing

           other:         [specify]

              Visits with                                                                       [parent] will include a midweek dinner on

                                      [day of week] as follows [specify time for exchange]:

 

 

              We will arrange for our children to communicate with                                                                                        [parent] while our children are away on vacation.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Grandparents, Relatives, and Important Friends.

              Our children will maintain their relationships with grandparents, other relatives, and important friends as follows:                                                                                                           

 

 

#      Psychiatric and Other Mental Health Care.

              Our children will undergo psychiatric or other mental health care with

                                                                 [specify provider] as follows [choose all that apply]:

           if either parent feels it is necessary

           if it is recommended by a school counselor or other health care provider

           only if we agree in writing

           only if it is made available through school

           only if it is available at low or no cost to us

              Both of us must undergo individual or joint psychiatric or other counseling with

                                                                 [specify provider] as follows [choose all that apply]:

           if either parent feels it is necessary

           if it is recommended by a school counselor or other health care provider

           only if we agree in writing

           only if it is made available through school

           only if it is available at low or no cost to us

              Our children’s other mental health issues, such as                                                                                      [specify], will be addressed as follows [specify]:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      Religious Training.

              Our children’s religious training will be as follows [choose all that apply]:

           Our children will be raised         [specify].

           Our children will be taught about both of our religions:                                                                                                 and                                                                                             .

           Our children may choose their religious training as long as it generally conforms to the principles of the                                                                          religion.

           Our children may choose their religious training.                                                                                                  [parent] will supervise such training.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

#      Surname.

              Our children’s surname is           .

Any decision to change that surname will be made as follows [choose all that apply]:

           Our children will keep this surname until they become legal adults.

           Our children may choose their surname.

           Our children may choose their surname after age           .

           We will discuss and agree on any change of surname.

                                                                                 [parent] has the authority to change our children’s surname.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Treating Each Child as an Individual.

              Each of our children will sometimes need separate or special time with each of us. Therefore, we will set up short, separate visits as follows [specify]:

 

 

              Each of our children will sometimes need separate or special time with each of us. Therefore, we will set up separate time for each child when the children visit together as follows [specify]:

 

 

              Each of our children will sometimes need separate or special time with each of us. Therefore, we further agree that [specify]:

 

 

#      Separating the Adult Relationship Issues From the Parenting Issues.

              We agree that we will separate our adult relationship issues from the parenting issues as follows [choose all that apply]:

           agree to resolve all parenting decisions first

           schedule separate telephone calls

 

 

 

 

 

           arrange to discuss adult relationship issues when away from our children

           discuss adult relationship issues during joint mediation or counseling sessions

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Making Routine Changes.

              We will regularly review this agreement as follows:                                                                                        [list dates or frequency, as appropriate]

              We will review this agreement when problems arise.

              Reviews will be:

           by telephone

           in person

           through:

           counseling

           mediation

           arbitration

           other:         [specify]

              Our children may participate in the discussions.

              Our children may participate in the decisions.

#      Making Big Changes.

              If we negotiate a substantive modification of this agreement,                                                                                                          [parent] will prepare (or make sure that someone else prepares) a summary of the agreement so that we may obtain a court order incorporating our changes. Each parent will be responsible to review the agreement prior to its submission to the court, and to seek independent advice on the agreement to ensure that it says what we intend it to say, accomplishes our objectives, and is within the general parameters of what a court is likely to approve.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

#      Explaining the Agreement to Our Children.

              We’ll both sit down together with our children to explain this agreement to them.

                                                                                         [parent] will explain this agreement to our children.

                                                                           [parent] will be available to answer any questions the children might have.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, and Child Neglect.

              If events such as           [specify] occur,

                                                              [parent] may seek a restraining order from the court.

              Anyone providing care for our children other than a parent will be told about any existing restraining orders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                              [parent] will seek counseling from         [provider] regarding                                                                                                               

                                                                                          [specify]; also [choose all that apply]:

           Parent and provider will be permitted to determine when there is no further need for counseling.

           At the conclusion of parent’s counseling, provider will send a letter to          

                                                   [other parent] indicating that counseling has concluded to the parent and provider’s satisfaction.

              We will offer counseling and emotional support to our children as indicated in Issue #                                                                                                            [Psychiatric and Other Mental Health Care].

              If our children are exposed to a violent or otherwise dangerous situation, the parent in whose care they are will remove them from the situation and, if necessary, find another adult to provide care for them.

              Our children may call                                                                                                                                                                                                [adult’s name] if they fear for their safety while in                                                                                                      ’s [parent] care. This adult will care for the children until he/she receives different instructions from the other parent.

              We will seek an independent evaluation regarding            

                                                          [specify] for help in how we might best address this situation.

              The time the children are with                                                                                                                                                                                             [parent] will be supervised by                                                                                          [other adult] to ensure the children’s safety and well-being. The supervised visits will continue until [choose all that apply]:

           Our children feel ready to spend time alone with         .

           A counselor indicates that the supervision is unnecessary.

           Other:         [specify]

              From                                                                         until           ,

                                                                                   [parent] will not spend time with our children.

           During that time,                                                                               [parent] will maintain contact with our children via [choose all that apply]:

           phone

           letter

           email

           other:         [specify]

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Alcohol or Drug Abuse.

                                                                                                              [parent] will attend a 12-step or similar program.

                                                                                                          [parent] will seek counseling from                                                                                                                                                                                             [provider] to deal with the substance abuse; also [choose all that apply]:

           Parent and provider will be permitted to determine when the need for counseling has concluded.

           At the conclusion of parent’s counseling, provider will send a letter to          

                                                                                        [other parent] indicating that counseling has concluded to the parent and provider’s satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

 

           During the time         [parent] is seeking treatment,

                                                                                     [parent] will maintain contact with our children via [choose all that apply]:

           phone

           letter

           email

           other:         [specify]

                                                                                                        [parent] will modify his/her behavior around our children so that he/she is “sober” as follows [choose all that apply]:

           Will not operate a motor vehicle within          hours of consuming drugs or alcohol.

           Will not consume drugs or alcohol for at least                                                                                 hours before visits with the children or during any such visits.

           Will submit to a drug and alcohol screening test performed by          

                                                                                               [name of organization]. The testing will occur as follows                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                      [specify conditions and consequences].

           The time the children are with                                                                                                                [parent] will be supervised by                                                                                 [other adult] to ensure the children’s safety and well-being. The supervised visits will continue until [choose all that apply]:

           Our children feel ready to spend time alone with .

           A counselor indicates that the supervision is unnecessary.

           Other:         [specify]

                                                                              [parent] will prevent others from consuming drugs or alcohol while our children are in [his/her] care.

              Our children may call                                                                                    [adult’s name] if they fear for their safety while in                                                                                                                                                                                                   ’s [parent] care. This adult will care for the children until he/she receives different instructions from the other parent.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Undermining the Parent-Child Relationship.

              We will encourage and support our children in maintaining a good relationship with the other parent. If either of us feels that the other is undermining our relationship with our children, we will proceed as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will discuss the matter and try to reach an agreement.

           We will resolve the dispute through:

           counseling

           mediation

           arbitration

           other:         [specify]

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      Denying Access to the Children.

              If either of us is denied physical access to our children, contact with them, or information about them, we will proceed as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will discuss the matter and try to reach an agreement that will involve reinstating a visitation schedule.

           We will resolve the dispute through:

           counseling

           mediation

           arbitration

           meeting with attorney(s)

           other:         [specify]

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      If Extended Family Members or Close Friends Are Fueling the Dispute.

              We will encourage our children to have ongoing relationships with members of our extended family and with our close friends as long as those relationships are healthy and do not make disputes we have over parenting or adult relationship issues worse.

              If a family member or close friend is fueling our disputes over parenting or adult relationship issues, we agree that, as appropriate, either the parent who has the most frequent contact with this person, or both parents will:

           limit the information shared with this person

           schedule a “family meeting” to discuss the matter, and identify ways it can be addressed and resolved

           ask an attorney to explain the matter to the family member or friend, and ask the person to stop whatever behaviors are fueling the dispute

           schedule a mediation session with the family member or friend to discuss the matter and find ways it can be addressed and resolved

           create a talking circle among the extended family or among close friends to discuss the matter and find ways it can be addressed and resolved

           get a court order to have the family member or friend stop the behavior that is fueling the dispute

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Moving.

              We agree that in the event either parent plans to relocate from            

                                                                   [describe community, county, state], that parent will provide the other parent with at least                                                                                       days’ notice in order to allow us to assess the impact that this move will have on our current parenting arrangements, and to renegotiate or modify the agreement accordingly.

              We agree that neither parent plans to relocate now, but in the event either parent wishes to relocate in the future, we will consider the following [choose all that apply]:

           having both parents relocate

           changing physical custody of the children to the remaining parent

           allowing a move as long as it is no more than miles from current address

           allowing a move as long as the new home is in the same county

 

 

 

 

           allowing a move as long as our children are under age  / over age          

           timing a move with a change in schools

           allowing our children to chose whether they will move after age          

           allowing the parent to relocate as planned

           finding new ways to meet both parents’ needs and goals so that both parents can remain in the area

           We agree that                                                                                                                                                                 [parent] will move to                                                                         [specify] on or after

                              [date].

              After any move, our parenting agreement will:

           remain as currently drafted.

           change as follows [specify]:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      When Parenting Styles and Values Differ.

              Although our parenting styles are very different, we agree to try the following strategies to minimize the effect of those differences on our children [choose all that apply]:

           We will focus our attention and conversations on our children, rather than on each other.

           We will encourage our children to explore the following aspects of each of our cultural heritages [specify]:

 

 

 

           We will respect each other’s right to establish an independent life with our children, as long as it is not detrimental to our children.

           If our living or transition arrangement exacerbates the problems our children experience because of our different styles and values, we will consider modifying the arrangement(s).

           We will take part in counseling.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      When a Parent Needs to Develop Parenting Skills.

                                                                                                      [parent] will work on improving parenting skills as follows [choose all that apply]:

           will attend parenting classes through          

           will review written materials on parenting

           will attend counseling with                                                                                                 to deal with and resolve these issues.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      When Parents Have New Partners.

              We will resolve issues surrounding a parent’s new partner as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will ensure that our children will always know that we are their parents, regardless of their attachment to a parent’s new partner.

           Our children will refer to new partners as         .

           The adults and the children will have separate sleeping quarters.

           Any new partner will participate in decisions regarding the children as follows [specify]:

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      If Our Homes Are Far Apart.

              If the distance between our homes makes it necessary to change the children’s living arrangements or visitation schedule, we agree as follows [choose all that apply]:

           The children will spend the school year with                                                                                                                                                                               [parent] and the summers with                                                                          [other parent].

           The children will live with                                        [parent] for                                        [specify grade or school level] and with                                                                  

                                     [other parent] for                                    [specify grade or school level].

           The children will reside at                                                                                [name of school] and will visit with each parent as follows [specify; be consistent with the options you choose under holidays and vacations]:

 

 

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      When Nonrelatives Live in the Home.

              If either of us lives with nonrelatives, our children will have separate sleeping quarters from the adults.

                                                                                            [parent] will be responsible to make sure that no one in the house consumes nonprescription drugs or becomes a danger to our children because of intoxication.

                                                                                            [parent] will be responsible to make sure the number of other visitors is kept reasonable.

              A nonrelative may not care for our children in the parent’s absence.

              A nonrelative may not discipline our children in the parent’s absence.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#      Reinvolving a Parent Who Has Been Absent.

                                                                                                      [parent] has been absent from our children’s life for                                                                                     [period of time], and now wishes to become reinvolved. To make this transition easier for all of us, we agree as follows [choose all that apply]:

           We will both seek counseling.

           Our children will receive counseling.

           We will focus our attention and conversations on our children.

           We will build up the amount of time                                                                    [parent] spends with our children as follows:

 

                                                                                                [parent] will retain the support systems and schedules established while                                                                                      [parent] was absent, as follows:

 

           To make sure that                                                                                                 ’s [parent] reentry into our children’s lives is for the long term, we will make necessary modifications to this agreement on or before                                                                        [specify date].

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Driving and Owning a Car, Motorcycle, or Off-Road Vehicle.

              We will permit our children to own a car.

              We will not permit our children to own a car.

              We will permit our children to drive a car under the following conditions [choose all that apply]:

           After completing a certified training course.

           With the consent of         [one or both parents].

           With adult supervision.

           Only to the following locations:          

           Using a family car.

           After buying a car.

           After being given a car.

           After paying their own car insurance and any other costs, such as repairs.

           They must pay for any tickets received while operating the car.

                                                                                             [specify any additional conditions]

              We will permit our children to own a motorcycle.

              We will not permit our children to own a motorcycle.

              We will permit our children to drive a motorcycle under the following conditions [choose all that apply]:

           After completing a certified training course.

           With the consent of         [one or both parents]

           With adult supervision.

           Only to the following locations:          

           Using a family motorcycle.

 

 

 

           After buying a motorcycle.

           After being given a motorcycle.

           After paying their own motorcycle insurance and any other costs, such as repairs.

           They must pay for any tickets received while operating the motorcycle.

                                                                                             [specify any additional conditions]

              We will permit our children to own an off-road vehicle.

              We will not permit our children to own an off-road vehicle.

              We will permit our children to drive an off-road vehicle under the following conditions [choose all that apply]:

           After completing a certified training course.

           With the consent of         [one or both parents]

           With adult supervision.

           Only to the following locations:          

           Using a family off-road vehicle.

           After buying an off-road vehicle.

           After being given an off-road vehicle.

           After paying their own off-road vehicle insurance and any other costs, such as repairs.

           They must pay for any tickets received while operating the off-road vehicle.

                                                                                             [specify any additional conditions]

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      International Travel and Passports.

              Our children may obtain passports and travel out of the country only under the following conditions [choose one]:

           Both parents must agree in order for either to obtain passports for our children or take them out of the country.

           Either parent may obtain passports if necessary for travel.

           Either parent may obtain passports, but our children may travel out of the country only if the other parent approves of the itinerary and the dates of the trip.

           Either parent may obtain passports, but our children may not travel out of the country unless                                                                         [adult’s name] travels with them.

           Passports may not be issued to our children under any circumstances.

           Only                                                                          may obtain passports for the children.

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Military Service.

              Our children may enter military service if they are under legal age as follows [choose all that apply]:

           if they so choose

           in the event of a war

           if they are at least age                

 

 

 

 

 

           if we both agree in writing

           if         [parent] consents

           never

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

#      Allowing Underage Marriage.

              Our children may marry if they are under the legal age as follows [choose all that apply]:

           if they so choose

           in the event of a pregnancy

           if they are at least age                

           if we both agree in writing

           if         [parent] consents

           never

              We further agree that [specify]:

 

  1. Responsibility to Prepare a Final Draft of This                                                                                                     [parent] will prepare a final draft of this agreement. Both parents will be responsible to review the agreement for completeness and accuracy. By                                                                                                    [date], both parents will have made any necessary changes.
  2. Responsibility for Incorporation Into Court [parent] will prepare and file the necessary paperwork for this agreement to be incorporated into a court order.
  3. Effective We agree to abide by the terms of this agreement, effective once both of us have signed it.

 

Signature                                                                                             Date

 

Signature                                                                                             Date